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The Biggest Screw-Up My Company Has Ever Employed

 

by Glenn Shepard

November 10, 2009

 

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Dear Glenn,   

I work in a medium-sized office with diverse cultures within. I find it frustrating to understand, and dislike listening to the lazy, slangy Ebonics.

     I can't help but wonder why college-educated people would continue to use phrases that are not grammatically correct, and find nothing wrong with it.

         It is even more troublesome to know they speak to customers on the telephone using that same language.

        Is it just me, or are other people grasping on to this problem?

    Is it okay to correct them (in private, of course)?

    Here are some examples:

 

"He goed there"

"She doos this"

"Him did that."

Michelle in Florida

 

Dear Michelle,   

First the legal disclaimer. I am not an attorney, and there are a ton of legal ramifications to your question, so ask your attorney about the legal side of this.

      I will speak to the broader issue of bad grammar and vocabulary at work.

       Bad grammar is bad grammar no matter what someone's ethnic origin is, and it is a proven fact that the worse someone’s grammar, the more their career will suffer.

      Yet few of us speak the King's English perfectly.    

       There was much discussion about the fact that Barrack Obama does not pronounce the word "ask" as "axkst", which is common among African Americans.

       Yet former vice president Al Gore pronounces "Washington" as "WaRshington", and former president George W. Bush pronounces "nuclEar" as "nucUlar”.

        Even when words are not grammatically incorrect, they can still be inappropriate in business, which is why companies specify how employees are expected to speak, especially to customers.

    For example, is it okay to:

 

- Address customers by their first name?

 

- Address a male customer as "Dude"?

 

- Address a female customer as "Honey"?

 

- Use words such as "crap"?

 

- Make up words such as "ginormous"?

 

You determine how loosy-goosy your employees can be with grammar (including whether they can use words like "loosy-goosy").

      Then unless your lawyer says differently, those standards should apply to everyone, regardless of age or ethnicity.

        Thanks for your question.

Glenn In Nashville
 

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Last week after I told you about a mistake my bookkeeper recently made, Brad Grayson in Columbus, Indiana, said something all business owners know, but a lot our employees probably don’t.

 

He wrote:

 

“Dear Glenn,

 

As my hair gets a little greyer, I realize my business maturity came from all the mistakes I made. I should have fired myself MANY times! Books, tapes, seminars are all necessary and give us a solid knowledge, but NOTHING replaces experience, especially tough, bad experiences. My REAL, PERMANENT changes came when I lost big money and vowed to never let it happen again.”

 

 

Man did he hit the nail on the head.

 

I’ve personally made more mistakes than every person this company has employed over the past 21 years – combined.

 

For example, in 2006 we pulled my collection seminar (Give Me My Money, Please!) off the market, because the economy was booming and companies were more concerned with finding employees than getting customers to pay. In 2009, I made the decision to bring it back, and it was a grand slam home run. Both were the right decisions at the right time.

 

But then I made the "brilliant" decision to try mailing the brochures for two different seminars in one envelope. We spend between $400,000 and $900,000 a year on postage, and that could have cut the cost in half.

 

Last week at seminars where we only mailed one brochure per envelope, we had 81 people attend in Wausau, Wisconsin, 61 in Sheboygan, and 154 near Minneapolis.

 

But when we tested my brilliant idea of a piggy-backed mailing in Florida, only 7 people attended (about a 93% decrease in revenue).

 

While there’s nothing wrong with failing at something new, I made the biggest mistake there is in marketing. I didn’t wait for the results of the test before trying it again.

 

I also tested the piggy-backed mailing in Alabama, Kentucky, New York, Iowa, and Texas, and it was an unmitigated disaster.

 

I let my desire to create a more efficient business operation come before marketing, which is a big no-no. Marketing always comes first, because COGS (the cost of goods sold) is irrelevant if no one buys what you sell.

 

As my financial guru Dave Ramsey says, business owners think we have a brilliant new idea every other day, but 9 out of 10 of them turn out to be disasters. The problem is that you can’t get to the one that works until you get through the other nine.

 

My friend and colleague David Humes, author of Photoshop EZ (www.PhotoshopEZ.com), once told me he closely watches what I do because I’ve achieved and made more than just anybody he knows in this business. I told him I don't know if that's the case, but if it is, I know why.

 

It isn't because of talent, skills, or work ethic.

 

It’s because I’ve also lost more money and made more mistakes than just about anybody in this business.

 

And that will never change.

 

We’re currently running a test by giving everyone who attends my seminars a $10 gift card for Applebee’s, to see if it increases attendance. It seemed better than paying $10 per person to have cold hotel chicken catered in, and people can use the gift cards whenever they want.

 

It was another "brilliant " idea, or so I thought. But instead of people saying “thanks”, we’ve received nothing but complaints because it wasn’t for $20.

 

The results won’t be known until next year.

 

If it works, I’ll look like a genius to everyone who only sees the success. If it doesn’t, I’ll look like an idiot for spending $20,000 for the privilege of listening to ungrateful whiners complain.

 

Thomas Edison is the only person I know of who failed more than I do. He failed to invent the incandescent light bulb over 10,000 times, but I'm sure glad he did.

 

Had he not, we might still been using candles and gas lamps today.

 

 

 

To Your Success,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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