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The Two Most Important Things

You Should Do If a Loved One

Loses His Job

 

by Glenn Shepard

March 16, 2010

 

 
Ft. Worth, TX March 17
San Marcos, TX March 18

Quincy, IL

March 26

 

Call Rebecca at 1-800-538-4595 for any location.

“Facebook does to your time what a gambling addiction does to your money.”

 

— Glenn Shepard
 

 

 

Dear Glenn,   

     I'm a GM in the food service industry in a college town, and 80% of our employees are college students working their way through school.

      If I had a $1 for every time I heard them say "When I get a REAL Job...", I'd be rich.

      How do you get employees to understand that as long as they are getting a pay check, this is a "REAL Job", and requires them to be on time and respect their position?

Real Employer in Georgia

 

 

Dear Frustrated Fast Food Manager,

     Explain it to them this way.

     As I wrote in How to be the Employee Your Company Can't Live Without, a person who won’t give 100% at a job that pays $8 an hour won’t give 100% at a job that pays $80 an hour.

    Conversely, the employee who gives 100% when making minimum wage won’t be making minimum wage very long.

     The work habits they form now will follow them throughout their careers, and will have more impact on how much they earn over their lifetimes, than most of what they learn in the classroom.

       This is why I titled  Chapter 7 "Treat Your Job like It’s Your Lifelong Career, Even if it’s Only a Stepping Stone".

     Thanks for your question.

Glenn in Nashville, TN

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Glenn's Personal  Blog

Click on the gold pen to see what Glenn's on a rant about now

Over the past 20+ years, I’ve counseled many people who got laid off, from $400,000 a year executives to $16,000 a year custodians.

 

And I found a consistent trend: Women handle it better than men.

 

While losing a job isn’t easy for anyone, it’s particularly devastating for men because it represents more than just money – it’s often their identity.

 

Women tend to identity themselves by their relationships, while men tend to identify themselves by their careers.

 

This is why the first thing two women who meet for the first time will do is ask if each is married, and will be whipping out photos of kids or grandkids in the blink of an eye.

 

The first thing two men who meet for the first time will do is ask what the other does for a living.

 

So I want to share with you what to expect if a man in your family loses his job, and how to save your family a world of pain – up to and including depression, bankruptcy, divorce, domestic violence, drug and alcohol abuse, and even suicide.

 

The biggest mistake people make is believing that the more successful someone was, the more self-confidence he’ll have, which will help him better handle the situation.

 

The opposite is true.

 

I first learned this 20 years ago when a friend of mine left a high paying senior VP job on Wall Street and moved back to Nashville because his wife hated New York. The only thing more amazing than how fast he spiraled downward was how far he went.

 

Since then, I’ve seen it again and again.

 

This happens because in addition to more income, extremely high achievers enjoy more respect, power, prestige, and status. When all that is snatched away, it takes about 6 to 8 weeks before most men start to unravel.

 

So if your husband/son/father loses his job and you want to help, here are the 2 things you should do, and do QUICKLY:

 

1. Keep Him Moving and Don’t Let Him Lose Momentum

Don’t let him “take time to reevaluate his priorities in life and decide what his true calling is”. Time is the enemy when someone is unemployed, and every minute counts. This is the time to hit the ground running, not to do soul searching. (Don’t mention the 6 to 8 weeks. Most men will assure you they’re “not discouraged”, but this is usually just false bravado.)

 

2. Hold Him Accountable

When someone loses a job, their full time job should be looking for a job. Most of the unemployed people I talk to tell me they’re spending 100% of their time looking, but 99% are not. They catch up on visits to the dentist, get the oil changed, work out, or waste a lot of time on Facebook – all things that were fine when they had a job, but should now be put on the back burner until they get a new one.

 

If you can, have him fill out a daily time log of what he did each hour of the day, just as he might do at a regular job.

 

Posting a resume at 3 or 4 websites is NOT looking for a job full time.

 

Pounding the pavement by going to office park after office park for 10 hours a day and knocking on 50 doors a day, is.

 

Keep in mind that the higher paid he was, the longer it will take him to find another job paying the same. So get him to commit to a timeframe.

 

If he hasn’t found a comparable job after being unemployed for X number of weeks, he should set his ego aside and take a temporary position doing anything, just to get some income coming in.

 

No matter how meager it may be, this will help him start regaining some of the confidence and self-esteem he's lost, which will pay off in a big way.

 

Statistics show that people who do this and become underemployed, find a permanent job closer to their former income sooner than those who remain unemployed while looking for a job.

 

 

Dedicated To Your Success,

Glenn Shepard

 

 

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